look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
