you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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