ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
A+ Viking dick
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
