also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Randomize
