oh god the rape fog is back!
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
