I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I think people are normalizing furries
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
