cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
