I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
