You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
