found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
