i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
