I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
