You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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