So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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