my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
