That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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