took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
