how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
