Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I know her cup size but not her name....
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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