i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
