So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
