lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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