Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
