Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
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