I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
