Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
