Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
