STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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