Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I have surprise drugs for everyone
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
