she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
So much rum. So many feels.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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