If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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