You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
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