I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
It's shark week go big or go home
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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