There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
