If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
