You made me cry and you don't even care
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
How does one acquire holy water?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
