are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Randomize
