I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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