I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
