is your mom at the bar?
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
