You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
