what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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