I just saw a hot homeless man
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
