Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
