Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
