I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
