DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
