After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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