Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
