why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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