I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
